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Vulnerability & Courage in Leadership

3/1/2019

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Vulnerability is such a gut-wrenching feeling none of us care to experience and we tend to avoid it like the plague. According to Merriam-Webster, vulnerability is “the capability of being physically or emotionally wounded, open to attack or damage, exposed to the possibility of criticism.” As leaders, we have the tendency to feel like we need to “have it all together”, to be flawless, and to have all the answers. I know that I have felt this way before. Vulnerability is often viewed as an indication of weakness, however, it can actually be very powerful and one of our greatest assets.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV reads, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
When I think of vulnerability, I immediately think of Jesus. He was THE most vulnerable being to ever walk the earth. Throughout his ministry years, he received much criticism, and was attacked both verbally and emotionally. On the cross, he was fully exposed so that he could bear our shame, our imperfections and our brokenness and bring us back into relationship with our Father. I really don’t think you can be more vulnerable than that. Because of Jesus’ willingness to be vulnerable, he opened the doors of eternal life for every single one of us. It is in our own vulnerability, that we can be great leaders. It is through our vulnerability that we can be catalysts of change for others.  

The question is, how do we have the courage to not only be vulnerable, but to embrace it? Here are some important things I have learned:

1. It’s okay to ask for help.

Being teachable and seeking out guidance from others is a really great thing. Asking for help is not a sign that you are weak, but that you are a human being.


2. Perfection is a lie.

It’s absolutely okay to not be okay and to make mistakes as a leader. The important thing is to own them and grow from them. A lot of us strive for perfection, however, aside from Jesus, perfection does not exist.


3. Vulnerability is extremely powerful.

It is a gift to those whom we are leading. When we are vulnerable, it is then that we are relatable and as a result can connect more deeply with the people whom we are leading. As a result, this leads them to opportunities for change and growth.


4. Draw courage from Jesus.

The courage and strength to be vulnerable needs to be sought out from the One who displayed this state in its truest form. Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.


Sources:   
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown.

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Danielle Hazlett serves as the NLC Kids Director at Next Level Church, where she oversees the kid's ministry across all NLC locations and equips the kids team leads so that they can raise up a generation of world changers. Danielle and her husband, Joe, together with their daughter live in Saco, Maine.
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5 Approaches to Respectfully Disagree with Leadership

10/6/2016

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​When working towards a common goal with a team, it’s almost certain that there will be conflict in the team. This conflict is healthy, and allows teams of all sizes and goals to move the ball down the field towards the objective. This tension is inevitable with a team, but what sometimes blurs the lines is when you disagree with someone above you in leadership.

Every leader in this scenario is going to struggle with some aspect of disagreeing with authority over them. Some people, like myself, might simply err on the side of not bringing up the disagreement at all and remaining silent. Others may land on the other end of the spectrum and may relentlessly challenge someone in authority over them, not taking into account that they need to honor and respect those who God has put in that position.

I want to outline 5 specific approaches to respectfully disagree with those in authority over us. With that, I want to specify all of these approaches with this thought in mind: if you are working in an area where you repeatedly feel prompted to voice your disagreement with the leadership above you, you might simply be in the wrong place and may not align with the vision there. Don’t be a thorn in your leadership’s side; have healthy conflict, but if you are constantly swimming upstream, then respectfully jump out and find another river to swim in.

Trust 

The first and arguably most important team dynamic is trust. This isn’t some sappy emotional team exercise where everyone sits around a campfire and shares their feelings--although this could very well work with some teams. Rather, this is you trusting that the person in authority over you bleeds the same vision that you hold true to. In fact, don’t just trust that your leader has the same vision that you do, but also trust that they want you to achieve your full potential in the culture and vision of that organization.

​When you need to confront that person over you, go to them with the assurance that they want to achieve the same goal and move forward together with you. And here’s the fundamental piece of trust: if you can’t trust your leadership enough to know that you are on the same team moving towards the same goal, then you definitely need to find another organization to be in. That’s simply not healthy. Trust the leadership above you and know that they want to achieve the same goal that you do.

Assume the Best

There are going to be times that someone in a position above you says something or does something that hurts you or your team. Our first instinct as people is to assume that someone intentionally hurt us, but in leadership we can’t quickly run to this assumption.

We need to guard our emotional response to assume that someone meant to hurt us, and instead always assume the best in our leadership. Give your leadership the benefit of the doubt, and until there’s opportunity to discuss it with them, respect and honor them by assuming that they had the best intentions in mind.

Respect


This term gets thrown around a lot in leadership and teams, but it’s keenly important when addressing hurt or disagreement. Respect can take many forms, but in this context it essentially means giving them the space and opportunity to have a bad day.

Let me unpack this even further. Those that lead above us have a ton on their plate, and there are going to be occasions where they may do or say something that they didn't mean to. Respect and honor them through their bad ideas and occasional slip ups. God has placed them in authority over us and the least we can do is respect them enough to have grace with them.

Don’t Confront Them When You're Angry

This point should be elementary, but often is forgotten in the heat of the moment. If you want to have success in any of the points above, then definitely DO NOT confront them when you're angry. It’s literally impossible to respect and honor your leader when you have steam boiling out of your ears. Collect your thoughts, walk away, and come back to it tomorrow after you've had time to cool down. 

Remember That You Are on the Same Team

Lastly and possibly one of the most important pillars in these approaches is the constant reminder that you and your leader are on the same team. When you work in a great organization, the leader and everyone else below them all belong and operate on the same team with the same end goal. When you choose to remember that you and your leader are on the same team, your frustration will diminish quickly. Sure, they may have still wronged you accidentally, but sometimes that happens when you're in the thick of battle. Rather than wasting your energy on holding a grudge, take the passion and energy towards the goal line and score.

These scenarios are never easy in the moment, but I promise you, if you take these approaches to your next team meeting, you’ll walk away with your head held high knowing that you approached the disagreement with godly care.

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​​Adam Jones is the location pastor for Next Level Church's Salisbury, MA location. Adam graduated from Moody Bible Institute with a BA in Youth Ministry. When he's not meeting with people from his location or pastoring his volunteer teams, Adam can be found playing volleyball, going camping, or writing. He and his wife, Maribeth, live in Seabrook, NH.

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3 Bytes that the Church Should Take from Apple

6/17/2016

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In 2007, Apple changed the world by introducing one simple device: the iPhone. It’s not like there weren't smartphones before the introduction of the iPhone, but any smartphone available prior to it was clunky, hard to use, and not an experience that anyone but tech nerds would want to deal with.

As a leader and pastor in the church, I often look at what Apple did to change an industry forever. Not only is the iPhone something that is still the gold standard today, but it remains the catalyst that fuels a billion-dollar industry forward.

And yes, the church itself is not a business that can simply mimic what other successful businesses do, but in practice and principle, we can take tried and true examples of success and look for the implementation behind it.

1. Make Church for the “Average Joe”

Arguably the best thing that Apple did to make the iPhone successful was to make a device that did complicated things without making it a complicated experience. There were tons of phones in 2007 that could browse the web, take photos, and listen to music, but the experience was difficult and daunting to use.

Far too often we make church the exact same experience. Church becomes something that is intimidating, and even once someone is in the doors, we make it difficult to understand and strenuous to be a part of the community. Yes, the church should want people to grow deeper in their faith and understanding of God, but if we truly want to reach people for Christ, we should make church an experience that the average Joe can understand and implement into their lives. Following Christ is not going to be “easy” by any stretch, but too often we make the initial idea of church and Christianity way more unappealing than it needs to be.

2. Every Detail Matters

​The phrase “paint the back of the fence” is a term heard a lot around Apple. Steve Jobs originally heard this phrase from his father, instilling in Steve the importance of detail in everything. When you look at an iPhone--even the internal parts--everything is made and scrutinized down to the tiniest detail (even the screws).

Sadly, many people attending church today see it as a place where people haphazardly throw together an hour and a half on Sunday because they’re obligated to do so. But when we realize the God that we serve—One who is excellent and holy—we can truly see the importance of preparing a place for people to come and experience God. We as church leaders should look and see that every detail matters to those who are coming to church. If we are going to reach those who are skeptics, let’s at least show them through our action and care how much we love Jesus.

3. 
Presentation is Everything    

Back in 2007, no one but tech enthusiasts and business people used smartphones. When Apple presented the iPhone, everyone and their dog wanted one. Why? Because Steve Jobs was able to show that this product, when done right, was perfect for anyone to use. Fast forward 9 years later, and almost everyone who has a cell phone has some sort of smartphone. Apple was able to show people what they wanted before they even knew they wanted it.


The church should take the same kind of action. The church is great for everyone, but too often we present it as something that only certain select people want. We do a horrible job at showing people that the love of Christ is applicable today to everyone. If we truly believe that, then why do we go out of our way to make church something that is inaccessible to someone who doesn't have a degree in Theology? Christ reached people where they were at and often went out of his way to use stories and analogies that normal people could understand to explain complicated truths. Shouldn’t we follow suit and do the same?


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There’s a lot we can learn from other people's success. We can learn principles and culture that drive people forward. If we truly want to spread the Gospel around the world, let’s take every bit of successful advice we can and use it to furthering the love of Christ. Let’s marry the vision and date the model. Let's continue to reach people for Christ but be willing to change the method to be more effective.

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​Adam Jones is the location pastor for Next Level Church's Salisbury, MA location. Adam graduated from Moody Bible Institute with a BA in Youth Ministry. When he's not meeting with people from his location or pastoring his volunteer teams, Adam can be found playing volleyball, going camping, or writing. He and his wife, Maribeth, live in Portsmouth, NH.
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